Immediately the thoughts of ending my life filled my head.
Then I considered just running away.
I’m trying to use my DBT skills: acknowledge the thoughts, don’t judge them, thoughts don’t have to control me.
So it’s the weekend, the kids and husband are here. So somehow I will manage this feeling. I’m scared though, I’ll admit that. It’s a bit like falling into a pit but trying to scrabble up the side to get out.
On the plus side the beauty of BPD is that I may well be full of the joys by lunchtime as my mood switches uncontrollably. Fingers crossed.
…then there’s the quetiapine question…
When I feel like this I think I should try it but…I don’t want to.