I have felt empty all day.
How can being empty feel so heavy?
Of course when I stop to think about it I realise that I am not empty. I just wish I was. That’d be better than the rot that festers away inside of me.
So I guess I numb everything, all the feelings – numb. Then I feel empty because I’ve numbed everything.
The mental anaesthetic will wear off though. I don’t control it at all; just observe and experience it.
Is that why they call this thing Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder? (Shit name by the way).
Ugh and now the Shadow Man is hanging about. Not properly, just flickers at the edges. I wish he’d just do one. Didn’t he get the memo: I don’t fucking care. Go and bother someone else. I’m knackered.