This is a blip

Will I ever be ok?

They say I will.

They say this will pass.

I don’t believe them.

I get worse and worse and worse.

Deteriorating.

Unable to function much at all yet aware that there is further to fall.

I’m scared of the fall.

   
I’m so scared about dying.

I don’t want to die. 

Especially not in a violent, painful, bloody mess.

If I just knew that there is a future.

If I could just believe what they tell me but they lie.

This is a blip they say.

My whole fucking life is a blip.

  

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